And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
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Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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