She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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