i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
