I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
