Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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