I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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