how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
