hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
