if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
