She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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