and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
