I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize