I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
