he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
