ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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