I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
