Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
