he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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