You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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