its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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