Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
