Apparently you make a good broom.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I can't turn off my feet"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
