i already hear my dad disowning me
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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