I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
