Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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