Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
