Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
