Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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