If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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