Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
