Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
