So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
