ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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