this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
