For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
