I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
