barbara walters just said penis...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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