yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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