Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
