Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
