3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
