Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
