I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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