That's intense
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
