wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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