Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
