Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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