you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
