All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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