tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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