conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
