Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
