ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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