Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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