This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Randomize
