Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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