Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
