did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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