He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
