Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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