i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
