found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
