Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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