A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
