You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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