You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
