At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
