What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
