i think my mom watched the whole time
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The beer is more important than you right now.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
