Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize