Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
