Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
