he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize