3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
