Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
