Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
too bad you live with your parents still
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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